The dark side of self-love

What does it mean to love oneself?  Everybody loves themselves differently. Some manifest their love by buying good clothes for themselves, some by pampering themselves, some by giving themselves some ‘me’ time, some by loving their body for what it is regardless of what stereotypes say…

Well, I belong to the last category. I am what-they-call-a-foodie, I know my body type isn’t ‘perfect’ and I haven’t been those kinds who puts in that extra, extra effort of working out. And to top it all, I love defying stereotypes. So, if you tell me that I am ‘supposed to’ have a certain body type, I will make sure that I don’t adhere to the-so-called-standards of being what everyone thinks is perfect (Exaggeration, but nevermind).

However, in this entire deal of loving myself by accepting myself and defying stereotypes, something was wrong. And it took me quite some time to realize that and come to terms with it. I am overweight, I have major hormonal issues, I have chronic cough and asthma, and well, there’s more to that.  But to cut it short, my weight has led to hormonal issues and has also affected my breathing pattern when I cough which has led to me having asthma. It was at this point, a couple of months ago, that I decided to introspect and ask myself  – “What is happening? What am I doing? Am I really loving myself by being complacent regarding my weight or am I inviting more problems for myself?”

At the cost of sounding a little philosophical, please allow me to say that sometimes, love can be harmful. Self-love can sometimes lead you to sabotage your own well-being. It’s alright to be overweight. You don’t need to conform to someone’s standards of beauty, but hey, if it’s the body weight that’s leading to other health issues, then sweetheart, it’s time to do something about it because taking care of yourself means loving yourself enough to not cause further health problems for yourself.

I’m Sweta Mantrii and I’ve just joined team BoH as a content writer.

I decided to write about this subject because I realized that my notion of self-love was wrong and that I needed to talk to other women about this, and help them understand that taking care of one’s health and body issues also means loving oneself. Don’t lose weight because your cousin who has a perfect figure wants you to look beautiful. You’re already beautiful! But if you’re having some other issues because of the weight or there are chances that you may have some in the future, then please, throw away that lethargy!

I’ve recently joined yoga and pranayama classes. I’m not going to go on a strict diet and all, but I’m certainly going to keep a watch on what I’m eating. I’m not going to stuff myself with fatty food just because I feel like it.

The monsoons can play spoilsport by making you skip your workout. Do not give in. If you can’t go outdoors, stay in and do some basic work and/or some yoga and pranayama. If you’re concerned about not doing things right, catch up with some videos on YouTube and go for it, full throttle!

Loving yourself is not about immersing yourself in reckless abandon; it’s about being mindful enough to understand what’s right and what’s wrong for you! And after all, what better timing than the monsoons to let go of your old habits and welcome a refreshing change!

Have you had similar issues in the past? We’d be looking forward to hearing your stories and experiences on what self-love means to you,how you misunderstood the concept of self-love. and how you unlearnt your version of it to be in a happyness-state-of-life. Please write in to us on our email or our facebook page, and we’d be happy to share your story with everyone (If you want us to)!


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